No matter how attractive you find someone you’re working with, think about getting into this relationship before you fall head over heels with them.  If they are a hunk or bombshell, it’s possible they may be more used to starting up relationships or have a higher risk tolerance than you.   

While a large percentage of companies don’t have policies against dating those you work with, some do and you should read your company manual first.  If you’re in the clear with the company policy, that doesn’t mean you still can’t be considered irresponsible or negligible with your work product.  Once folks find out you are in a relationship (and there’s a strong likelihood they will no matter how you try to conceal  it), you could be a center of gossip and your productivity perceived as poor, even if you’re trying hard to not have it be affected.

Consider giving your desire a waiting period, such as three months, before taking any actions to move it forward.  Weigh the pros and cons. 

I myself have had a few of these situations in my young work career.   (Fortunately, I’m not alone in this.  See Vault’s 2010 Office Romance Survey)  In one case, it was not so much that this guy was a hunk, but his senior position and interest in me regrettably provoked my attraction to him at the time.  It was short-term and embarrassing, but mostly for me.   Then I had to continue to work in the same office daily — awkward.

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No, this isn’t another comment on what females or their employers should not do at work, but rather what they  must start doing to erradicate workplace violence, which is pervasive against women. “We believe women should spend their lives creating and thriving rather than surviving or recovering from terrible atrocities,” and “Violence is not and never should be part of a job,” says WorkplaceViolenceNews online.

So this is to remind you as a working woman of a few working prevention practices, whether you’re an entrepreneur, manager or woman returning to the workforce, whether you’ve had violence occur to you directly or to some other woman you know.  Clients have shared with me a few scenarios that were uncalled for and unpleasant and some that were humiliating or dangerous, so help bring this problem into the light and eliminate it from being the significant problem for women that it is today:

1. Know what violence is and help those around you to understand it as well. A general description of the term “violence” is verbal and emotional abuse, physical violence and sexual harassment; an act of aggression against a person who resists. Maybe this has happened to you and perhaps you’ve blamed yourself for getting in the situation to begin with. But let me ask you, “Does anything you could have done warrant the harmful response you received?”  The answer will be a definite no. Read about workplace violence to more accurately understand and avoid it at the Education Resources Information Center.

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