This holiday season while you’re attempting to get your business done AND make room for holiday festivities, preparations and guests, you’re bound to run into a few turkeys along the way – “a person considered inept or undesireable.”  What do you do when they’re family?  Do you avoid them or suffer through the experience of their company?  Or…is there another option?

A client recently told me her family causes her stress, that she has trouble being with them due to past issues, but not going to holiday dinners meant her children wouldn’t get to spend time with family.  A few of my recommendations if you can’t come to terms with the issue and lay it completely aside: 

–Keep your preparations to a minimum.  Don’t kill yourself with cooking.  If family comes to you, make it a potluck or prepare simple dishes and purchase a few decorations.  If you’re going to them, bring one dish that is easy.  Don’t be surprised if it doesn’t get eaten.  If you haven’t slaved over it, you won’t be disappointed. 

–Keep your expectations to a minimum.  Join in light conversation, avoid heavy discussions by going to the bathroom or playing with the family pet.  Redirect your attention to others when they ask questions about you and what you’re doing by offering a short reply, “Oh, things are okay.  Thanks for asking.”  And ask them a question about themelves.  That way if you both get interrupted mid-sentence, you haven’t been in the middle of baring your soul.  If they are genuinely interested, tell them you’ll talk with them one-on-one after the holiday.

–Eat only what you feel like, no matter what’s foisted on you.  Eat slowly and don’t keep eating to avoid conversation.

–Help cleanup, but don’t do it all.  Ask for help – especially from the guys – football or not.

–Be truly grateful you have a warm home, good food and family who cares enough to come together, even if they’re learning how to make that time count better.

In short, be pleasant, enjoy your time as much as you can and stay out of your own thoughts by becoming very ”curious” about others.  What don’t you know about them?  What do they enjoy doing for fun?  What is their job really like?  What is their favorite color?  Anything that keeps your attention outwards and engaged in active listening.  You may discover some new qualities about even the worst of turkey’s that can surprise you.

What are your positive tactics for interacting with a Thanksgiving “turkey”?