Sometimes we run into people in our lives who are dealing with their own internal demons and it has nothing to do with us.  Unfortunately, we might unintentionally trigger their anger or frustrations and be the recipient of their rude or unkind behaviors.  How we handle these types of encounters keeps us sane and even in our own lives.  

Recently I had a conversation with a friend who I love and respect.  He told me that he had an altercation with someone recently at a meeting they both attend regularly.  My friend was pretty upset about it and it was clear he didn’t like to be “unfairly” accused.  Here’s his version:

“I was sitting in the meeting and talking with this guy and slapped him friendly-like on the shoulder when he said something I appreciated.  He changed his facial expression completely and told me not to touch him.  Then he added that he didn’t feel like I respected him and he walked away.  I was so caught off guard.  I asked him to go outside and talk, and we did.  I apologized for any misunderstanding, but mostly I just wanted to smooth things over for the moment so I could get out of his way.  He didn’t say anything when I apologized.  So that’s it for him and me now, and I don’t need to have anything more to do with this jerk!”

(more…)

This past Sunday I drove to my husband’s office with him and helped him decorate it in a theme of his choosing for his company’s Spirit Week – a time of the year in which the employees of his law firm have some team play time. 

We had fun removing a few extra chairs and creating a whole beach and picnic scene that garnered lots of response from his co-workers when they arrived Monday morning.  For example, one person said, “Wow!  Over the top, great!” and another said, “Cool.  Why didn’t I think of that?”  While a third said (eyeing the picnic basket), “I know where I’ll be spending my lunch hour!”

And all because my husband jumped in the game…despite being the only one in his office who did.  (There are two offices and some of the employees in the Irvine office did participate).  This was disappointing to Joe, but hasn’t deterred him from planning what he’ll wear for the other days where employees were asked to dress up in themed costumes.  Today was “The 80′s” and he looked classic in his courdouroy pants, white sports t-shirt with 3/4″ colored sleeves, boat shoes and Member’s Only jacket, when he left this morning.

When specific activities will boost morale and be fun to participate together in, why don’t employees do it?  Are they too embarrassed to show a personal side of themselves?  If it’s “too much hassle” I have to wonder what it’s like to work with the same people daily and how they show their appreciation of each other. 

Though exposing a ”real” side of yourself to others in a work environment can seem too personal, if you’re willing to stick your neck out and connect, others will follow suit.  By my husband continuing to stay in the spirit of the week, more folks joined in at both offices, figuring if he could show that playful side of themselves, so could they.  

Do you feel any resignation in your work and interaction with others and, if so, what can you do to change this?  Perhaps you can suggest a spirit week!

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Recently I was at the movie theater and afterwards went to the restroom. I walked into a bathroom stall and soon after I heard someone enter the stall next to me. She said, “Hi Laurie! It’s Patricia.” I was surprised someone had spotted me and replied aloud, “Oh, hello…which Patricia is this?” She replied, “Um-huh. Yeah, I can be there by 10:00.” I realized, sheepishly, that Patricia?whoever she was?was on the phone with someone else and wasn’t talking to me at all. Needless to say I scurried out of the restroom in case I was spotted as the woman talking to the wall.

My husband and I had a good laugh at this. But actually it was a little lesson in not making it mean anything more me than the fact that I’d made a silly, honest mistake and it was indeed a coincidental happenstance with our similar names. Even so, there are many things I’ve done where I’ve felt higher levels of my own foolish behavior. Yet that’s one of the many positives about aging, that these kinds of things begin to matter far less.

If you catch yourself doing something goofy, how do you regard it? Do you say, “that was dumb of me,” or do you cut yourself some slack?