You can be frustrated or angry that you weren’t picked to work on a project or work with a client, or you can look ahead at what to do for the next time.  Here’s a few things that work:

1.  Be eager, but not too eager  Looking too hungry for anything is a turnoff and shows a lack of self-confidence rather than your passion for the work. 
2.  Be visible, but not too in their face  I once had a friend who showed up at a smaller company she wanted to work for and asked questions of the receptionist, including showing her resume and stating her interest to meet the manager.  The receptionist told her they weren’t interviewing anyone, but my friend requested a short conversation with the manager anyway in a polite and professional way.  She wasn’t rude, demanding or even over the top.  She was prepared to leave if there wasn’t going to be an opening for this.  The manager overhearing the confident woman at the front desk, poked her head around the corner to see who this enthusiastic woman was.  My friend got an interview and was later hired.  
3.  Be informed, but don’t overdue it  Stay current through social networking, top industry blogs, top newsletters and newspapers, to know leading news about your client’s industry changes.  For example, a client of mine was a marketer.  She had a big client whose popular cosmetic line she marketed.  When I located two key articles about competitors to her client’s company and new promotions they were offering, I passed it on to my client.  This was unexpected “beyond the call of duty” service and my client acknowledged it and was grateful to be able to share the information to her client.  I didn’t barrage my client with articles or information, but was able to provide something helpful that showed I had her best interests at heart and was thinking of her mid-sessions as well.
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My blog has been down for several weeks due to someone recently hacking my site.  It was an involved job to repair it and wasted my time, resources and necessary client support.  I guess this is the reason hackers do it.  They enjoy creating problems for others and giving  total strangers – a hard time.

I’m not only frustrated by this inhumane act, but as a career coach I can’t help feeling sad about this person’s unchanneled talent.  Here is someone who really knows their computer skills.  They can bypass security areas on the Internet and worm their way in to place random hidden codes on your site that market someone else’s site, or just delete your work.  Both of which have been done to my secure site.  This takes a special know how that someone spent time cultivating this knowledge.  They could have just as easily learned this information and applied it for helpful purposes at a decently paid job.

If you’re listening – you got me – but wouldn’t it better to get YOU?

Cynthia launched into the room, all pumped with energy, her flyers in hand.  The meeting room was already crowded.  She immediately arranged her three flyers on the nearest promotion table, even though there was scarely any space.  She combined someone else’s flyers into another person’s pile to make room for her own to be splayed out. 

She’d made sure her wallet had plenty of business cards before she left the house and she added several to the table too.  Cynthia thought it was okay to place them on top of another person’s flyers.  “Afterall, he’s in carpet cleaning, so everyone can tell we’re two different businesses.  And, with my photo on my cards, I’ll stick out.” 

Looking ever the part of the consummate professional in her new pants outfit, even though she had few clients and no current prospects for more, she eagerly jumped into an existing conversation with a small group nearby.  She began with a long introduction of herself, not noticing the awkward looks on their faces since she’d interrupted someone mid-sentence who had been talking. 

When it was time to give her 30-second business introduction, she went over the alloted minute per person.  The meeting leader had to ring the bell twice on her, but she didn’t pay any attention, and kept on with a few more sentences before finishing and walking to her seat.  ”I pay for these meetings,” she thought, “and 30-seconds is no where enough time to tell everyone all I do.”

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Whether you’re a manager in an organization or need to more effectively manage your own business as an entrepreneur, these styles of management can get in the way if you’re not aware you’re doing them. Here’s what I’ve discovered with my clients that doesn’t work and how to fix them.

1.  Go along, get along

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. Are you still trying too hard to be accepted and gain recognition for the work you do?  You may find that rather than trust your instincts and ideas you’re trying to fit in and prove your value.  In Lois P. Frankel’s book, Women Who Don’t Get the Corner Office A Good Man Is Hard to Find film Someone Like You… dvd Dark Matter rip Wishmaster divx The Karate Dog psp , you may still be acting more like a “girl” and not like a “woman.”  It’s time to leave your comfort cloak behind, step up and try on being more of the woman you are.

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2.  Overcompensating.  If you feel you have a tendency to be agreeable too quickly to other people’s ideas or plans, or you tend to change your already crammed schedule to accommodate someone else who neglected to give you advance notice,  you’re ignoring your own value. Maybe you feel you’ve underserved someone or been less than cooperative and now you’re overcompensating.  Listen to your heart and not just your head.  Give yourself time before adding more to your plate by stepping away for a minute to think it through before replying.

3.  Not doing your homework.  Do your homework on a project or idea before launching yourself into it.  If you’re too busy for the upfront preparation needed, get others on your team to help you do it so you don’t rush ideas through and end up somewhere you don’t want to be, or even worse, backpaddling.  You may quickly decide you’ll handle something without all the facts in front of you, and then wonder later why you’re having to put in overtime on the project.

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Funny how uncomfortable it can be to publicly declare what you’re grateful for.  For me, I want to shout it from the rooftops.  But many of us are pre-programmed from childhood to not talk about positive things going on for us because it could look like it’s boasting.  Most of what I’m grateful for I recognize comes as a result of the love and support of others, yet I take responsibility for the fact that I create and nurture those relationships.  It’s very empowering to be able to examine my achievements, large and small, and take ownership for them.

If this is awkward for you, I encourage you to share your successes more often.

At Thanksgiving this year, everyone passed a pomegranate and took their turn to share something, or a few things, they were grateful for.  To keep things light, folks might want to interject humorous asides, but the pomegranate was used in the sacred fashion of the Indian talking stick and it symbolized, it’s the holder’s turn to speak now.  As all eyes were on the person sharing, thoughts of boastfulness disappeared, and each of us were able to share in the joy of the accomplishment for each other. 

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