Okay, maybe your heroine isn’t Oprah, maybe its Ellen DeGeneres or Michelle Obama or even someone famous in history, like Harriet Tubman or Indira Gandhi.  But no matter how inspired someone may appear to us, they too have both their moments in the sun and those in the dark of the moon…those moments where they’re not representing themselves in their best light.

I had one of those moments a few days ago and had trouble at first seeing myself as part of the problem.  I was frustrated with a couple of associates and found myself wanting to back out of our relationship.  My expectations and feelings of being personally affronted overwhelmed any compassion for them.

I was sharing this with a mutual friend who fortunately set me straight.  I thought how those I was disappointed in were simply not ”on” at this time and while they may have personal growth lessons to learn, it’s my lesson to accept them and appreciate them now as they are.  I was having an “off” period when I held fast to them having to show up a certain way and not allowing them room to be themselves or make mistakes, be peculiar, or just different than me and how I’d do something.

The next time you’re being tough on yourself or others, keep in mind we all have unique strengths, gifts and qualities that can’t be compared to anyone elses, even those we hold to a high ideal.  True, sometimes relationships that aren’t healthy or helping us grow have to be ended.  But more often than not, it’s about acceptance of each other and facing the reality that we all have ”on” and “off” times, so we should temper our ideals and let the natural light shine through.

This past weekend my large family gathered to celebrate the man who started us all, my Dad, and honor him on his 80th birthday.

So many of us were there—his wife, children, grandchildren and great grandchildren, having flown in or driven far to be with this great man and each other. The weather hung on with a prayer, just long enough before the rains came, to be outdoors in overcast weather.  The large heaters rented last minute kept us cozy and allowed the tables, lights and decorations we’d set up, to be used and look lovely.

We gabbed together, laughed alot, and cried alot with love and deep appreciation for each other and especially of Dad and how much his role modeling has contributed to each of us.  We shared poems, special words and we sang songs.

Throughout the day a little punch was spilled, but no milk was—that is, there were no squabbles and everyone ignored any differences we may have in religion, politics, etc.  “Families are like fudge, mostly sweet with a few nuts,” an unknown author once wrote. And over the years, thankfully we’ve grown and are still growing to appreciate all of our quirky sides, our differences and unique ways, and not make it mean anything. Even with each of our strong personalities, this commitment to caring allows us to continue to communicate and hang out with each other.

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