As I reflect on the upcoming training for thinkx, a productive thinking company I’m about to join, a part of me wonders if it wouldn’t be better if this opportunity had come about ten years earlier.  I’m enthusiastic about the company and anxious to expand my business endeavors, but there’s another part of me that is ready for sitting and reading detective novels, starting a music group and beadmaking. 

C.H.O.M.P.S. movie download Colour of War: The ANZACs psp Truth is, I wasn’t willing to devote additional time to projects outside my one-on-one client coaching earlier than now.  I now want to team coach and train as an adjunct to my business and I found a balanced solution with a company of innovative, problem-solving experts that I will enjoy co-leading with.  I may not get to the beadworking consistently, but I have chosen to expand my business where I will have more creative opportunities and pleasure in delivering excellent material that is both playful and creates positive change.  It lets me use my acting background and business experiences, allows me to reach a larger audience, lets me do some traveling and challenges me outside the comfort of my solopreneurship.

I’ve accepted this team role because it incorporates several items from my personal pleasure list along with business and financial objectives.  (I can even redesign my downtime to expand my reading repertoire if I like).

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We’re all a bit anxious at times.  We sometimes get frustated over trying too hard to get our goals met.  But we find ways to meet these challenges and our life goes on.  Yet what about the stress we generate “in support of” a loved one, friend, or client, who has expressed to us their troubles.  Our thoughts often linger over our last conversation with them, when things weren’t working for them.  Meanwhile, they have probably moved past those things.

I recently was forwarded an email from a mother talking sentimentally about how she worried her whole lifetime about the safety and well-being of her child.  She kept wondering when that worry would end and her father smiled when she expressed this.  For years she never knew why he did that.  When her own daughter grew up and worried over her, she smiled, realizing her child was grown up enough to experience similar concerns and, the email says, the “torch had been passed.”

Wouldn’t it be more satisfying to know that whenever others think of you they can rest easy, knowing you’re in good hands?  They would imagine how wisely you choose projects and how consistently well you have managed them and yourself.  They trust you’ll accept what needs to get done and not fuss over the rest.   They smile and go about their business, knowing you’ll accept your circumstances with grace.  

Sound too idealistic?  Some would stereotype me and say, “well, you don’t have kids.”  But I have a husband and family, friends, clients and so many others I care deeply about and my life is profoundly interwoven with them all.   I fall into worry at times too, but I consciously work on letting go and trusting in the direction of my own life and that includes the well-being, success and happiness of others. 

If you’re a worrier, what peace-filled practice can you put into place that will reassure you?

I woke up Wednesday with the beginnings of a cold and told myself, “you don’t have time for this now.”  I secretly yearned for a break, but knew I had to stay on top of it through Thursday for a day trip out of town on business.  “Okay, I told my body, let’s make a pact.  Be good to me through Thursday’s business meeting out of town and I’ll lay low Friday and through the weekend.”   Lay in bed with so much to finish?  That seemed crazy.  I knew I was going to have to make some adjustments.

I quickly assessed how urgent my appointments were Friday through the weekend.  I saw it was possible to postpone them – rarely are matters as pressing as we think they are – and people understand your sick, even when you don’t.  Besides, they don’t want your sickness either. 

I had to accept I wasn’t feeling well, let go and relax into it.  My work voice said, “So take work to be bed.”  ”Well, that defeats the point, doesn’t it?” my much wiser self responded.  So I simply agreed with my body to surrender.  We made a pact that I’d give in,  sleep, drink hot tea, take Vit C and eat only healthy things, turn off the phone and give my body the R&R it needed.  To keep myself down I had a fun book and portable DVD player handy nearby.  I was surprised instead I actually fell asleep. 

Thankfully listening to my body’s calling, I recuperated more quickly.  I’m aware that I have to keep a more balanced schedule and not ignore the subtle signs of my body feeling discomfort before I get sick, especially with the holidays coming soon.  I don’t want to absentmindedly kick into overdrive and land back in bed. 

In our busy society where multi-tasking and information overload are rampant, we experience stress.  The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA), Office of Women’s Health, says that “Women are more likely than men to feel depressed” and “About 1 woman in 5 has depression in the U.S.   While depression can be helped with professional counseling and/or medication, are their other solutions?

A saving grace I’ve found is to keep my perspective and not collapse the different levels of stress.  I may be experiencing a momentary bleep in my circumstances, such as my computer just went down in the middle of a project or I have to be two places at once, OR something more significant – such as missing a client appointment or having a car accident. 

I typically attempt to focus on finding a balance between “healthy” expression of my upset (keeping even small public tantrums or negative outbursts to a minimum) along with quiet and deep breaths to regain my composure and focus.  I may talk with my husband or a trusted close friend who won’t add their stresses or “fixing” to my venting to alleviate the “pressure.”  I remind them at those times that I just need them to listen.

Sometimes though, even conscious short-term venting isn’t enough to let a problem go.  Melancholy moods can last a long time when you’ve lost your “center” or sense of your yourself.  Psychotherapists are trained to deal with this chronic form of upset.   But before you turn to therapy or meds, consider taking time off for renewal.  For lesser problems, even an hour or two off can often be enough to help you regain your footing.

What’s an effective way you handle stress? 

What is this thing called “Balance” that we seek?Aside from it’s regulating measure and weight definitions, Webster uses these three definitions used here to address this inner need we have ”to bring into harmony or proportion” our lives.  Like everyone else, I have days focused on trying to attain stability between productive actions and satisfying restfulness ? trying to get over the have-to-stuff and get on to the good-stuff.  Can you equalize these scales in life? 

Clients seek this answer to maintain a ”state of equilibrium,” and when they can’t find it they look hard to find the “influence counteracting the effect of another,” to bring them back to a more satisfying existence.  There wouldn’t be definitions for this if it weren’t the human condition.  And in coaching I can be helpful to someone who wants to identify their deepest interests and values and live more true to them.  Yet, my short answers from my own experience are these:

1. Find out what you love to do the most and do it as much as you can. (visiting family, being in nature, engaging in creative projects, meditating, exercising, laughing, etc.

2. Love whatever you do the most (when you’re working-do it joyfully-find stimulation in the tasks at hand and welcome new challenges.  When you’re with others-decide when it’s important to be fully focused on them more than on a mutual exchange.  Become curious and renew your relationships this way.  If you’re washing dishes, enjoy the simplicity inherent in the act itself, rather than hurrying to get it over with, etc.)

It’s not what’s around the bend in the road or even the mountaintop – it’s the road itself.

How do you satisfy your balance needs?