One thing I’m known for is being quick-of course that’s somewhat more debateable as I age-but generally I’m ready to take action as needed.  There’s the plus side, such as clients being able to count on my well-prepared sessions and my being on time. And friends and family know I will follow through to get something I’ve promised done. Plane reservations?  I’ll make them.  Reserve a restaurant for a get-together?  No problem, count on me.  Research a forgotten person, place or thing, I’m on the Internet.

Yet this go-for-it mentality also has a price. At times I’ve put aside more important projects to take on something new and then felt overwhelmed with how to balance personal and work details.  While I’ve had times of smugly appreciating my super woman abilities, I’ve also had to admit mistakes from moving too quickly to try and get it all done.

Aware of my gung ho style, my office assistants help me stay abreast of details and when I delegate certain tasks I can refocus my attention back where it belongs.  But who manages the assistants?  Me.  And that takes time and energy too.  So despite good intentions and best organized efforts, I can still be sidetracked by details. So lessons from the trenches, here’s what I recommend that works best for me:

Use your daytimer and write everything down.  Set clear boundaries between business time and family or social-related time.  No matter how you organize your time there will be interruptions or new time-stealing opportunities, so learn to say no.  If you’re that busy, have your assistant keep your calendar for you. Or, simply slow down and take on less. Ask yourself if you can truly take on something new with everything else you have going on. And above all, find the balance between being helpful to others and self-sabotaging.  

How do you keep your go-for-it mentality in balance?

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How many of us put a little too much emphasis on our careers and personal responsibilities?  Consequently, we feel there isn’t enough time to get involved in our communities.  If ever there was a time for women to shift some of that personal and work energy, it is now.

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One of the candidates up for election is a woman, a wife, a mother – a working professional like you.  Naturally we’d want to support such a candidate.  But given her conservative views, is she the right woman to represent women now, let alone during these tough times?  We and are predecessors have struggled very hard to get a voice for women in the professional arena and the respect we deserve as ”equal” to our male partners.  We don’t want to jeopardize that progress.

Double Take If you’re undecided on who to vote for, do your homework and become informed on the candidates and their issues.  Your voice, your vote does make a difference and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.  Search online for the many sites that will give you nonpartisan information, such as the League of Women Voters site:  http://www.smartvoter.org/, or http://www.votesmart.org/.

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Know anyone not yet registered to vote?  Encourage them to do so.  They only have till October 20th!   Not yet registered?  Go to presidentialelection.com.  Not sure where to go once registered?  Click here and go to a Google map website where you input your location and it shows you where to go and vote.

I feel strongly I need to interrupt some of my projects to support my chosen candidates.  Next week I carpool with 150 other folks to go to Las Vegas, a swing vote state, to register voters.  I also signed up to be a pollster manning a booth on November 4th.  I leave my office shortly to work at my candidates’ local headquarters phoning folks to remind them to vote. 

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“Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. If I fail, no one will say, ‘She doesn’t have what it takes.’ They will say, ‘Women don’t have what it takes.’”

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“Women are the real architects of society.”

download Snatch. How are you making informed choices and taking positive action to support women’s rights during this presidential election? Without Evidence ipod

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It’s a big red flag when these things begin to happen.  First I typically find myself taking longer than I should on things, trying to fix problems and getting frustrated at my time and effort expenditure.  If I persist in what I’m doing, I can begin to get both tired and angry.  Ideally before that happens, I stop.  I step away from what I’m working on and physically move to another room.  I do something good for myself.  I take deep breaths and reflect on whether or not the project I’m pursuing really has to get done now, this minute, today.  If it doesn’t I might pack it up for the day and go do something more satisfying.  If it does have to get done today, even ten minutes in the sun can cast new light on me and the situation.

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My recommendation again:  step away, take deep breaths, get in the sun when you can and ask yourself how important it is to continue with what you’re working on.  Once you determine this, be fine with your decision.  If you have to complete what you’re working on, promise yourself something enjoyable when it’s done.  But whatever you do, don’t look back at the dirt that got on the fan.  Don’t let that bother you or mean anything about you, your circumstances or even your computer.  Sometimes dirt happens.

When the ____ hits your fan, what do you do to stay out of punishing thinking or behaviors?

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Last Friday I had the privilege to speak at the National Association of Asian American Professional’s annual convention, here in L.A.  My presentation was received well, yet I realize that the topic of balance is a very delicate and painful one for many individuals and I want to review my materials and go much deeper into some of my key points.  I’m interested in not only giving tips and tools and a new definition for how to view balance as a whole life view, rather than simply balancing work and homelife, but really getting to the heart of the issues that block us from having a happier life.

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At lunch, one of the women who attended my talk said she would like me to have gone more into the concern of ”guilt” for working Asian Americans (and they’re not the only culture that has this), that disrupts their personal balance.  She said that her culture has learned to put the company’s values often above their own.  If a boss expects you to stay late and finish a project, homelife comes second. 

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At this delicate employment time, I would not encourage anyone to go up against their boss and refuse to do what they’re asked, but I do think some communication about personal needs are warranted.  If you’re helpful and accommodating much of the time, then it stands to reason that another value of yours, to be with your family, can be honored at least a few nights during the weekday.  You can and must make that request not to work late all the time or take on weekend hours.

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It’s a shame that when someone consistently gives alot of themselves, those in power positions expect it and more.  So it is up to you to create the boundaries in which you govern your life and maintain balance in all areas of it.  Don’t wait till you’re bitter or burnt out, but schedule a meeting to talk about your needs with your boss.  Position your request by including what your commitment to the company (and project) is and therefore how reasonable it is that you work a more balanced schedule to continue to give your best when on the job.

If you have successfully communicated your balance needs to

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It’s easy to look at the Olympian athletes and question how you’re not living up to your own potential.  If comparing yourself to them feels too grandiose, you can probably look around and name your everyday heroes, people who seem to manage it all so well, when you don’t.  You hold them in high esteem and compare yourself to them. 

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of trying to get ahead and please others.  These patterns of behavior and dependencies are a vicious circle that leave you unable to fufill on them all, while draining you.

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Do you catch yourself comparing yourself to others or trying to be “super X” and how have you changed that?

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