As I let go of another business project that I decided is not a valuable use of my time and other resources, I reflect on the process itself of “letting go.” There are those things, people, projects, places, to-do’s that we consciously choose to eliminate…this project is one of them. It’s wise to let those things go before you expend too much more energy on them. Then there are those minor things that fall away on their own because you really weren’t that interested in them and didn’t focus your energy on them to begin with. But what about those larger matters that are important that you don’t give your due attention to out of past fears or disappointment?

One of my husband’s aunts was married for 50 years and deeply in love with her partner. A woman in her early 70’s, she had been fun to be with and lively.  For the last four years she’s lived in a senior home with severe loss of memory and physical deterioration. Before she went into the home we used to talk with her about doing some of the things she’d loved to do so much with him and she had no interest in doing it on her own. It was sad for all the family to see her so dependent on what she had had that she was unwilling to live fully for herself.

I can’t help feeling that my dear aunt-in-law gave up on living for herself, gave up on living her own dreams. I don’t want to judge her in any way; I don’t know what she’s been thinking and feeling since her husband passed, but I do know that she began to fade when she became inactive and disinterested.  It causes me to question my own disappointments, what I may harbor as sad or hurt feelings, and to see if there is anything that I really wanted that I’ve given up on or am unwilling to try out.

The question you may ask yourself is, Are you complete with your life as it is and as it is not? In other words, are there hopes or dreams you had that didn’t manifest and have you moved on from those? What about people you longed to connect with but didn’t get to, or people or circumstances you want to disconnect from, but don’t? Are you resigned in having to relate to certain people or be in certain circumstances that are unhealthy, or are you dwelling on thoughts of missing out?

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Sometimes prospective clients investigate coaching with me because they are simply looking for open windows.  That is, they aren’t sure about the change or changes they want to make and they take steps towards an open window to see if there is anything there that will help make them clearer.  They are in the discovery phase and they want to run their ideas by someone who can understand where they are and hear themselves talk about it. 

It’s a healthy approach to consider your options with an expert who knows how to listen and feedback what they hear from you, so you can hear it with a fresh ear.  However, you may be someone who does too much window shopping, dragging out decisions or never even going in the store, letting time pass and waiting till frustration or forced circumstances cause you to act.

Someone once said to me when I was being indecisive about signing up for a program I wanted to do, ”you can certainly wait, but what will happen is more time will pass and the cost of this program will go up.”  That didn’t seem horrible, but it also put the delaying my goals in perspective for me.  I’d already been waiting to get started and make some changes.  I didn’t want to keep waiting – and I didn’t want to have to pay more.

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Every woman knows that getting rid of junk always feels good after the fact–that is, after the work has been done. It’s not always easy to set the time aside to clear out unnecessary items from your home or office, but these 5 reasons might give you career-development incentives to take the time to declutter, especially if you have been procrastinating in doing it:

1. Increases energy.  Any new change or improvement requires your energy, time and focus while launching new ideas or projects require your creative input to plan without forgetting any missing pieces.  Whenever you walk past that pile of unattended papers or sort through clothes in your wardrobe that don’t fit or are too tired looking, your brain tires. You can’t afford that drain when you’re looking to progress. Set aside a weekend morning or two evenings to plow through and discard as needed. It’s true it takes an initial output of energy, but your accomplished feeling will increase your energy when it’s done much like exercising initally is somewhat tiring, but then gives you an added boost of energy. 

2. Boosts confidence.  Piles of unfinished work are constant reminders of your stopping and starting, yet not finishing. When you’re trying to make a change, you need all the confidence votes you can muster to remind you of your ability to follow through and complete your objective.  The Fly Lady has a 15-minute at a time, step-by-step method to help you get started.  The Unclutterer also offers you a method to purge stuff.  If it’s clothing or other personal items you’ve not used in more than a year, think of those less fortunate who can use them more and donate them. 

3. Lightens your workload, minimizes distractions.  Don’t fool yourself by straightening and organizing piles, creating new email folders in your inbox to dump emails you think you’ll read later, or spreading out reading materials in different rooms so they don’t feel so overwhelming.  This creates twice the work because you haven’t distinguished de-cluttering from organizing and you’re revisiting information more often than you should.  Give books or magazines to your library.  Make one rule never to add a possession to your wardrobe or even your abode without discarding one item in it’s place.  Make a second rule to go through mail, newspapers and magazines a maximum of twice.  You will save time and alleviate distraction from your bigger goals.

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Daylight Saving Time (or summertime as it is called in some countries) is a way of getting more light out of the day. To make it easier to remember which way the clock goes, we’ve learned to keep in mind the little expression, “Spring forward, Fall behind.” But the daylight isn’t all we’re trying to squeeze more out of.

We often view Spring as a time of cleaning, sorting, new openings; Summer as open-armed, vacations and care-free expression; Fall (Autumn) as a time to wrap up business deals and batten down the hatches for colder weather, but also for quieter, reflective time and the family engagements of Winter. Fall signals our year is fast coming to a close and we scurry to gather in the projects and ideas for the balance of the year and bring them to a comfortable resolution so we don’t feel as if WE’RE falling behind.

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My clients have come to me in all stages of career development and transition, discovering that these 5 mistakes have undermined early career change efforts or they’ve sought coaching assistance in time to course correct.  Here’s hoping these tips keep you ahead of the job candidate pool!

1.  Not Knowing What You Bring to the Party.  A common error in a new career or job search is pulling out the old resume and dusting it off simply by adding in your most recent job(s).  Before re-writing that resume and cover letter, take time to reassess how your career knowledge and experiences have blossomed.  Review what you have learned since you last wrote it and what specific benefits you added to the work you’ve done up till now.  Know your personal growth attributes as well and consider how you’ll include those in the information you pass on to your prospective employer or client.  There are many free assessments online, take a few different ones to uncover the infomation you need to know most about yourself, or consider paying for a Myers-Briggs or DiSC assessment.

2.  Not Knowning What the Party Will Bring to You.  If you haven’t researched the career offering or job, even if it was recommended by someone you know and trust, you can’t know if it will be a fit for you.  Investigate the client or company first, how long they’ve been in business, what their policies and practices are, the kind of people who work there and how long they’ve been there, what the education and background is of those you’d be working with and any information on a supervisor.  Then find out as much as you can about the work you’d be doing.  Besides reading about all this, form questions to ask when you’re called for an initial phone consultation or interview.  This knowledge demonstrates your interest, but also saves you lots of time in not pursuing something that’s not a match.

3.  Staying Within Your Comfort Zone.   Be willing to consider job possibilities that aren’t linear.  You may come upon a job that isn’t exactly what you had in mind, but uses many of the skills you’d hope to use and it is also a good fit.  Talk up your interests and work experiences with others and not just the title of the job you seek.  If you’ve done some research, you can even tell your associates a few different industries or jobs that you know use your skills.   Ask if they can refer you to someone who already does this kind of work, then conduct interviews with these individuals to learn more that will expand your options.

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