There are times when you have a good idea and suddenly others will turn to you and agree that it’s good and pat you on the back.  ”Terrific!  Now run with it,” they seem to be saying.  But maybe that’s not what you had in mind.  You may have hoped for more support and perhaps more of a team approach.

When unexpected responsibility calls your name, how do you proceed?

- Saying No Gracefully You can decide not to do it, which is tough after all that praise.  But it’s better to give up the spotlight than take on something you will fail at if your heart and mind are not into delivering on your own good idea.  Better to let this one go and move on to an idea you can get behind. 

I once initiated a video project, including writing the script, the marketing plan, and recruiting a partner.   My partner lived  in another state.  While it was possible to make the project work, the time involved for filming and getting the materials back and forth to each other was more than I’d thought through.  I soon realized it would not be an effective  use of my spare time and I had to talk with my partner and let the idea go before we set it in motion.  Turns out she was overextended with other projects and fine with letting our project go.

- Don’t Strike While the Iron is Hot  So many of us get great ideas that we’re passionate about before thinking it through more fully.  What do you want the end result to look like?  What will it take to get there?  You’re already launching and don’t even know what your aim is.  Unfortunately, lots of good ideas get killed off this way.  Write down your idea, the pros and the cons.  Talk it over with a close friend, advisor or coach.  But don’t start investing time, resources and energy before you’ve flushed it out sufficiently to know this is a responsibility you want to take on.

Part of the reason I became a coach is because I’ve seen too many good ideas others have not bear fruit.  Most of the time this is because their attention (and resources) were divided because they didn’t know enough about what they were getting themselves into.  The Internet has vast resources to support you getting the info you need to help you make more informed decisions.  Also, learn from those with experiences similar to what you want to do.

- Look for Recruits  Immediately when you’ve been elected, start making requests and putting your leadership and support team in place.  If you’re at a group meeting, before everyone disbands, speak up and make requests for who will handle various aspects of the project.  Ask them how and when they’ll offer you feedback.  Move into the role of leader coordinating others handling various aspects of the project, whenever you’re launching a good idea.

I recently started a women’s singing group and recognized that having a rotating “Host” at each of our rehearsals was key to me managing details effectively and setting the tone for joint leadership.  It has been an effective strategy.

The next time you have an unexpected responsibility, consider the source too.  Perhaps it’s someone else trying to offload their responsibility.  It could be they’re simply relieved to find a point person and you were the first warm body that came by.  If you do take it on, know clearly what is expected and whether or not you can deliver this.  Even when things are going well, develop backup plans plans.  You may thoroughly enjoy having the spotlight, but that doesn’t mean you should do it all yourself.  Do the parts you love as much as possible, and find others to help you with the rest.

It’s hard to even give words to your upset, and you’re not sure you want to.  It’s so private and yet the weight of your concerns is so present for you that it feels as if everyone can see something is going on with you anyway.  You get good at answering, “oh, everything’s fine,” when you know it’s not.

I have a younger sister dealing with cancer right now.  I go about my life and it’s like a wave crashing against my brain that this horrible disease has hit so close to home. 

My family, all ten of us, are having emails fly between us.  We all believe she’ll come out of it well - we do.  Yet there are periodic reports that things are worse than we feared and our calm exteriors waver.  We’ll know more in a few weeks after her surgery.

I know many folks deal with crisis that are happening or have happened, and you have to continue to work or carry on with daily activities.  

Yesterday, another sister and I talked about hope and how much easier it is to have it when things are going well.  There’s evidence all around you in the world that things don’t always turn out the best for folks.  Our lives seem precarious and unexpected occurrences make us feel as if we’re not in control.  But here are a few things I know are helping me to stay focused and optimistic:

1.  Pray.  Even if you don’t believe in God, something put you here on Earth, and there is a powerful universal force at work that can alter the course of your circumstances at any moment. 

2.  Believe.  Have faith in a balance of nature beyond your imagination that is just and loving.  All is right in this mindset and heartset that gives you the strength to face any obstacle.

3.  Renew.  Look for ways to cry, laugh, dance, do what you love and be grateful for it.  Releasing pent-up emotions and tapping into joy, has a healing power.

4.  Share Modestly.  You need to share with others, but share with those you can trust.  Folks can’t tell what is going on with you even though you think they can.  So unless you’re prepared to answer lots of questions, talk with those you feel closest with and ask for them to listen without giving advice, or ask for words of support if you need them.  This opening with a few can help you stay focused and present when you’re with others.

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What makes some ideas take off and others remain duds that are difficult to get off the ground?   Well, it’s true there’s a lot to be said for timing (Is it something others want to hear right now?  Has it’s time passed?  Is it too ahead of it’s time?)  But there are other important points to cover that make the difference between a hit and a flop, here are a few of those:

1.  Don’t do it in a vacuum.  Whether your project is really a one-person operation or involving many, you still need others to help you get the job done or at least encourage your best efforts.  In solo projects, let others learn your good ideas and support you.  If you’re expected to interface with others or get feedback from them, don’t put it off, it could save you fix-it time later.   How you communicate your project lead and launch strategy is important to garner their input or simply their vote, not to mention their respect.  In bigger projects your smooth planning and approach can allow you to be more transparent, fulfilling on a team machine that runs smoothly and with cooperation.

2.  Have a clear idea of what you want the end result to be.  Even if you’re making some of it up as you go along, you have a well-reasoned direction based on some track record of experience and research, that has others want to follow you.  You don’t have all the answers, yet enough of the map is there combined with your firm belief in your goal, that you’re able to rally a united spirit in others where they’ll want to solve any new problems with you.

3.  Express a confident attitude that is open-hearted, generous and enthusiastic.  Your passion in general and specifically for your idea, helps you and others want to find ways to correct whatever is necessary along the way.  You not only inspire leadership, but you’re able to ask for it easily and others will want to assume leadership roles to support your great idea.

4.  With your big picture vision, don’t miss the details.  However, do as few of these details yourself as possible.  Instead, manage others to become engaged and each be an important cog in the wheel turning.  Hire a Virtual Assistant to do some of the details you don’t want you or your participants distracted by.

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Cover letters are designed as a brief introduction letter that draws the reader’s attention to the applicant, the purpose of their submission and the attached resume. So a brief intro of yourself plus an expression of your interest, and one or two key features of your experience that you want to point up are the most primary components.

But here are 5 “potent” points to add-in to make your cover letter stand out from others and make you memorable:

1.  Use error-free type in a font that’s easily readable.  You’d be surprised at the number of typos or incorrect grammar and punctuation used.  Also, copy that is creased or not copied onto quality paper is a common mistake.  This may be their very first introduction to you and why it’s #1 in this list.  Don’t be tossed out for the basics. 

2.  Open your cover letter without the usual “attached you’ll find my resume” comment.  They know this already and a simple “Encl: resume”" or “Enclosed Resume” at the bottom left of your letter is sufficient to address any concerns you might have about your letter and resume being separated.  Instead, include an opener that has more power.  From ”Hello _________.  Here are the top 3 reasons you want to consider me as your new Accountant…” to “Thanks for your consideration of me for the new position of Electrical Engineer.  Let me point up why I’m your top candidate…”  The underline above is where you add the name of the specific person in charge of hiring vs. ”to whom it may concern.”

3.  Mention anyone who is referring you and a simple statement as to why, i.e. ”Stephanie Wilson suggested I apply, because in our 15-year relationship, she’s seen my design and management skills expand to the point where I’d be an excellent match for this graphic design coordinator position.”

4.  Share a point or two about the company or the client’s business to demonstrate you’ve done your homework.   i.e., “Since your Valentine’s Day ’92 program launch, I’ve followed the success of your Dial-A-Florist program and know I can bring added market dimensionality and a boost to this campaign.”  (Of course, be prepared to back up any and all promises).

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As I let go of another business project that I decided is not a valuable use of my time and other resources, I reflect on the process itself of “letting go.” There are those things, people, projects, places, to-do’s that we consciously choose to eliminate…this project is one of them. It’s wise to let those things go before you expend too much more energy on them. Then there are those minor things that fall away on their own because you really weren’t that interested in them and didn’t focus your energy on them to begin with. But what about those larger matters that are important that you don’t give your due attention to out of past fears or disappointment?

One of my husband’s aunts was married for 50 years and deeply in love with her partner. A woman in her early 70′s, she had been fun to be with and lively.  For the last four years she’s lived in a senior home with severe loss of memory and physical deterioration. Before she went into the home we used to talk with her about doing some of the things she’d loved to do so much with him and she had no interest in doing it on her own. It was sad for all the family to see her so dependent on what she had had that she was unwilling to live fully for herself.

I can’t help feeling that my dear aunt-in-law gave up on living for herself, gave up on living her own dreams. I don’t want to judge her in any way; I don’t know what she’s been thinking and feeling since her husband passed, but I do know that she began to fade when she became inactive and disinterested.  It causes me to question my own disappointments, what I may harbor as sad or hurt feelings, and to see if there is anything that I really wanted that I’ve given up on or am unwilling to try out.

The question you may ask yourself is, Are you complete with your life as it is and as it is not? In other words, are there hopes or dreams you had that didn’t manifest and have you moved on from those? What about people you longed to connect with but didn’t get to, or people or circumstances you want to disconnect from, but don’t? Are you resigned in having to relate to certain people or be in certain circumstances that are unhealthy, or are you dwelling on thoughts of missing out?

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