Sometimes you feel that no matter how much patience you exhibit, certain matters are beyond your control and cannot be easily fixed.  Things take longer than you want them to, people can be improperly trained and inefficient in dealing with your needs, phone numbers don’t work, deadlines aren’t met, clear communications are misunderstood, etc.

What can you do?

I know, like me, you may sometimes feel like you’d like to vanish or disappear someone else.  No matter how you try to keep your cool, someone can push just your right buttons so your blood starts to boil and any amount of professional calmness you started with becomes hard to hold onto.

An hour and a half rectifying miscellaneous flight charges with the airlines and my credit card company for a trip I’ taking tomorrow when I’m pressed to prep, was not part of my day’s plan.  It’s disappointing, and yet it’s what needed to happen to be clear about something or to someone, it most often can’t be avoided.  The old expression, “you catch more flies with honey than vinegar,” is still the best way to handle matters and will cause people to ultimately respond to support you, vs. if you bite their head off.  (And on the bright side, I did create this blog while waiting on the phone).

To not let yourself get worn down or feel beat, consider that these incidents aren’t time stealers, but rather part of the normal occurrence of life.  Instead of getting disillusioned with it not flowing effortlessly, focus on accepting it as it is, vs. trying to be patient when it doesn’t go right.   Then notice how this switch can allow your patience to fall in line.  At least that’s what I’m working on, letting needless worries float on by and turning my attention to acceptance and to how I’ll restructure my day so that it will all work out — because doesn’t it usually any way?

COACH ASKS:  Am I accepting or resisting what’s occurring?  If I’m resisting, how might I take a break and revisit the situation once I’ve gained perspective on the matter.  i.e. Is it really a life or death issue?

Clients often hire me because I’m both a Life and Career Coach and they seek a solution to living a more well-rounded personal and professional life.  While there are many factors that can contribute to this, such as how often they give attention to and effectively manage their own health, career, finances, relationships and social time, I recommend a few broader questions that are important to consider.

1.  How far out does your leadership reach or your circle of responsibility?  (from personal to family and friends?  to colleagues and associates?  to your local community, city or county?  to your state?   to your nation or other countries?…..)
2.  Is this a time for expanding out with more challenging opportunities or learning to make wiser, discerning choices on what you do?
3.  Are you needing to pull back and replenish your personal reserves and, if so, how will you do that and for how long?
4.  When you’ve been at a similar crossroad of new change, did you do something that worked well you can tap back into for this time?
5.  Who are your best advisors to guide you during this process or you can use to simply offer support?

There are many questions to look at, depending on whether your circle will expand or be limited at this time.  Your life is a constantly changing tidepool, not a stagnant one.  Ideally you want to have many circles rippling together, touching one another, and expanding as you grow—but it doesn’t mean your life will look like the person’s next to you.  What makes you well-rounded must be challenging and fit with the rythm of your life as you want to experience it and be fulfilled by it.

If you are repeating the expression, “I’m never off the clock,” my first question to you is, “How is that working for you?”

Does it feel like your workload is heavy and maybe even increasing, and you have to run to keep up?  If you feel it could become unmanageable without your finger constantly on its pulse, then there are several things you might be doing wrong.  Ask yourself these additional questions to double-check:

1.  Are you taking too much on yourself and not delegating enough?

2.  Are you uncomfortable with the responsibility of managing others for the actions they take on your behalf?

3.  Do you have difficulty prioritizing and focusing on higher-level, more important work, first?

4.  Do you feel overly responsible or a strong a sense of obligation for the outcome of projects? (more…)

I am following up the long Christmas and New Year’s holidays with a visit from my niece who will be with us for a week.  It was at first challenging to think of how I’d find time to spend with her, since I’ve returned to working, but I said yes to her visit anyway.  I’m pleased to experience how this has s-t-r-e-t-c-h-e-d the holidays, which can normally zoom by too quickly.  Beth even gave me time to work, such as taking my dog, Tula, and joining in a doggie play date with the neighborhood kids.

In what ways can you get the pleasurable holidays to s-t-r-e-t-c-h?

This time of year can challenge your patience, as it seems the streets and freeways are more crowded, shopping centers and grocery stores overflow with people, and there are longer lines to wait in.  A few words to the wise in how to remain calm and to prioritize your activities and travel:

1.  Write down and organize what you need to buy and where to get it and group your shopping together to make two or three store trips, versus a dozen.  Notice where the stores are located and go to the furthest out places and work backwards closer to home.  Avoid backtracking or time wasted by taking your store list with you, getting what you need, and leaving.  If you enjoy shopping, make sure you have scheduled the time to take it slow and easy.

2.  Consider if you can travel safely at off times whenever possible.  That may mean you have to hit the hay earlier for some sleep before leaving, or you may miss an hour or two of sleep, but you’ll also save energy not having to fight the traffic with everyone else who leaves at the usual morning or night hours. (more…)