Having family members over this Thanksgiving?  Going to see family?  During visits there can be sticky periods of communication – yes, even with those you love on this special holiday.  There are a few things that make this go better than not.  Here’s what I plan to remember that may help you:

1.  It’s not about you.  (Keep the focus of your visit on those you’re visiting with.  Oftentimes no one may ask you for your personal update or what you’ve been up to lately.  It’s not the time to take this personally.  If you are asked, your listener may engage you, but be interrupted, so use short answers about yoursel.  As soon as you can, switch to ask about them and listen and enjoy their responses.  There are other less busy times you can share what you’re doing in your life).

2.  It’s about celebration in any form.  (You have your own ideas about food choices and how the event should go, but it may not be what others have in mind.  Even if you’ve got a great game idea, others may not want to play.  Even if you prefer to bring salad, it might not be their food of choice.  If your Dad, like mine, wants to watch t.v. while you’d rather talk, if others sit down to join him and talk while the program is on, keep in mind that’s more important than you tracking the program). (more…)

Despite your best intentions, there are times when things others handle on your behalf take longer than you are told they will take originally, than you expect is reasonable, or because mistakes were made that have to be corrected.

Here’s a few solutions for dealing with these frustrating times that I’ve found works:

1.  Always give others a longer time to complete big projects, (I recently experienced this with a transition to a new computer).  Start the project only when you have the time to give it time.  That way even if the project completion takes longer than you expect, it won’t be as long as it would have been if you had given it a shorter completion date.

2.  Give yourself the energy fudge room to handle a growing or expansive project.  If you have so many deals going on that one is pulling dramatically for your atttention, it can seem overwhelming, when having the expectation that it could take longer, you’ll be more prepared to ready yourself for the task. (more…)

It’s not just Halloween that can bring out the goulish nature of folks.  You probably don’t often run into true diabolical, wicked or evil people, but you may run into difficult or cruel people at times.  How do you handle those who you need to interface with for personal or business reasons who behave this way?

1.  Don’t take their behavior personally. Easier said than done, but instead, catch yourself and remain calm without reacting.  Let them say or do what they want (as long as they’re not hurting you, and if they are, get immediate help).  Remember it’s their issues and you will do best not to fuel their fire if you listen and don’t comment while they’re spewing.

Some folks mismanage their anger and spew often, while others are bottled up and need to get things off their chest periodically, but do this inappropriately.  It’s likely it’s not really about you, but you just got in the line of fire.  Your  silence let’s them clear out what they have to say so you can then have their listening to suggest changes.   Give them the floor to talk till they’ve said all they need to and their anger will dissipate. (more…)

Video from KarmaTube, 4:51 minutes.  Courtesy and in appreciation of You Tube.  Women in Nepal apply the Heifer.org approach to community interaction, knowledge and training and sustainability to end hunger and poverty in Nepal.  These women share their experiences as they now have an ”us” and “ours” mentality, spurring them to “pass on the gift” with joy and hope.

We welcome home our new pup. Here is our “Tula” (balance in Sanskrit).