Thankfully the majority of my clients have a pretty clear idea of what they’d like to do or in what area they’d like to improve personally or professionally.  There are, however, those who have come to me with a greater sense of dissatisfaction and a sense of lost hope about their future.  I may need to refer them to therapy or coach them in addition to therapeutic support.  They may be someone who “followed the leader” and learned a skill or trade that was handed down to them, but it was never really their dream.  They don’t dare dream, because they’ve lost a belief in their power to create it.  These individuals have a crisis of confidence.

Not only do they feel dissatisfied with their life, but they didn’t learn how to recognize their own ability to make changes.  They’ve become good at adapting to people and situations.  They get by, but they don’t thrive.

I’m reminded of a speech by President Jimmy Carter in 1979 when he talked about his view on the main problem threatening our American society.  He said, “The threat is nearly invisible in ordinary ways. It is a crisis of confidence. It is a crisis that strikes at the very heart and soul and spirit of our national will. We can see this crisis in the growing doubt about the meaning of our own lives and in the loss of a unity of purpose for our nation.”  He called it a symptom of our spirit and he said, “The erosion of our confidence in the future is threatening to destroy the social and the political fabric of America.”  He called on us to have faith.

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Sometimes I feel worn out and I have to stop and remind myself to implement one of the solutions below.  When my coaching clients tell me they feel run down, it’s often because they’ve depleted their energy through pushing themselves to produce results and not taken care of themselves along the way, so we look at one or more of these fitting solutions to get them back on track. 

These are helpful remedies, but not the only answer if yours is a medical problem. You have to know what’s causing your exhaustion to apply the right solution. If your tiredness is lingering, it could be a medical issue (thyroid; low blood sugar; heart problem); a substance abuse problem (too much sugar, alcohol, drugs); or a stress-related problem.  See a doctor and get  a complete physical, including a full blood panel test and thyroid test.

If it’s not medical, it could be soon if you don’t deal with it.  It may be mind overload, poor time management, or taking on too much.  Here are 21 tips that can help you regain your energy:

1.   Go to bed earlier in the evening. Don’t want to miss late shows?  Record them to view another time.
2.   Sleep in a half hour to an hour longer in the morning whenever possible, even if you’re awake, you’re still resting.
3.   Exercise 3x a week minimum, but don’t overdue it.  Seek out a professional who can fit your workout to you.
4.   Eat healthier foods, including daily fruits and vegetables with smaller portions of meat and carbohydrates.
5.   Stop eating and minimize liquids two hours before bed, so you’re sleeping and not digesting.
6.   Reduce or avoid all stimulants (alchohol, sugar, coffee, caffeinated tea, drugs).  Stop the up/down rollercoaster.
7.   Get rest more often and become a master of cat naps.  There are many sites online to earn how to do it effectively.
8.   Rate your priorities. Determine if all tasks need to get done and when, eliminating any that you can.
9.   Ask for help rather than feeling you have to do it all yourself.
10. Delegate tasks to others, even if you have to pay for it to be done.

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As I let go of another business project that I decided is not a valuable use of my time and other resources, I reflect on the process itself of “letting go.” There are those things, people, projects, places, to-do’s that we consciously choose to eliminate…this project is one of them. It’s wise to let those things go before you expend too much more energy on them. Then there are those minor things that fall away on their own because you really weren’t that interested in them and didn’t focus your energy on them to begin with. But what about those larger matters that are important that you don’t give your due attention to out of past fears or disappointment?

One of my husband’s aunts was married for 50 years and deeply in love with her partner. A woman in her early 70’s, she had been fun to be with and lively.  For the last four years she’s lived in a senior home with severe loss of memory and physical deterioration. Before she went into the home we used to talk with her about doing some of the things she’d loved to do so much with him and she had no interest in doing it on her own. It was sad for all the family to see her so dependent on what she had had that she was unwilling to live fully for herself.

I can’t help feeling that my dear aunt-in-law gave up on living for herself, gave up on living her own dreams. I don’t want to judge her in any way; I don’t know what she’s been thinking and feeling since her husband passed, but I do know that she began to fade when she became inactive and disinterested.  It causes me to question my own disappointments, what I may harbor as sad or hurt feelings, and to see if there is anything that I really wanted that I’ve given up on or am unwilling to try out.

The question you may ask yourself is, Are you complete with your life as it is and as it is not? In other words, are there hopes or dreams you had that didn’t manifest and have you moved on from those? What about people you longed to connect with but didn’t get to, or people or circumstances you want to disconnect from, but don’t? Are you resigned in having to relate to certain people or be in certain circumstances that are unhealthy, or are you dwelling on thoughts of missing out?

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As Valentine’s Day is about to be here, I find myself reflecting on all that I love about life, including my career.  In some areas I need to return to love, the love I had for it in the first place.  

This embracing of love gives me a sense of true satisfaction and acceptance permeats my life.  There’s no push or struggle and things happen in there more natural order.  This affects the way I doggedly pursue results and transforms it to a simpler approach that is more gentle to myself, even while it becomes less about me and more about the joy of giving service to others. 

There’s nothing wrong with having achievement goals, working towards them and accomplishing them – but if in that process you feel bogged down with the weight of “getting there,” then you’re not in the magic of day-to-day living and you’re not in love with who you are as you are now.  You’re striving for results in vain. You are disconnected to what it means to live a purposeful life.

Attention to Meaning – Finding Your Life Purpose, is a movie I rented and watched last night.  It is about Dr. Wayne Dyer’s concepts for life.  It’s a very rich and inspiring film.  Even though everything he talked about stems from love, no where in the film does he use the word, “love.”   I wondered if it’s because the word is so overused and diluted, that it doesn’t  hold the same meaning for all of us. 

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Sometimes prospective clients investigate coaching with me because they are simply looking for open windows.  That is, they aren’t sure about the change or changes they want to make and they take steps towards an open window to see if there is anything there that will help make them clearer.  They are in the discovery phase and they want to run their ideas by someone who can understand where they are and hear themselves talk about it. 

It’s a healthy approach to consider your options with an expert who knows how to listen and feedback what they hear from you, so you can hear it with a fresh ear.  However, you may be someone who does too much window shopping, dragging out decisions or never even going in the store, letting time pass and waiting till frustration or forced circumstances cause you to act.

Someone once said to me when I was being indecisive about signing up for a program I wanted to do, ”you can certainly wait, but what will happen is more time will pass and the cost of this program will go up.”  That didn’t seem horrible, but it also put the delaying my goals in perspective for me.  I’d already been waiting to get started and make some changes.  I didn’t want to keep waiting – and I didn’t want to have to pay more.

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