Thankfully the majority of my clients have a pretty clear idea of what they’d like to do or in what area they’d like to improve personally or professionally.  There are, however, those who have come to me with a greater sense of dissatisfaction and a sense of lost hope about their future.  I may need to refer them to therapy or coach them in addition to therapeutic support.  They may be someone who “followed the leader” and learned a skill or trade that was handed down to them, but it was never really their dream.  They don’t dare dream, because they’ve lost a belief in their power to create it.  These individuals have a crisis of confidence.

Not only do they feel dissatisfied with their life, but they didn’t learn how to recognize their own ability to make changes.  They’ve become good at adapting to people and situations.  They get by, but they don’t thrive.

I’m reminded of a speech by President Jimmy Carter in 1979 when he talked about his view on the main problem threatening our American society.  He said, “The threat is nearly invisible in ordinary ways. It is a crisis of confidence. It is a crisis that strikes at the very heart and soul and spirit of our national will. We can see this crisis in the growing doubt about the meaning of our own lives and in the loss of a unity of purpose for our nation.”  He called it a symptom of our spirit and he said, “The erosion of our confidence in the future is threatening to destroy the social and the political fabric of America.”  He called on us to have faith.

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As Valentine’s Day is about to be here, I find myself reflecting on all that I love about life, including my career.  In some areas I need to return to love, the love I had for it in the first place.  

This embracing of love gives me a sense of true satisfaction and acceptance permeats my life.  There’s no push or struggle and things happen in there more natural order.  This affects the way I doggedly pursue results and transforms it to a simpler approach that is more gentle to myself, even while it becomes less about me and more about the joy of giving service to others. 

There’s nothing wrong with having achievement goals, working towards them and accomplishing them – but if in that process you feel bogged down with the weight of “getting there,” then you’re not in the magic of day-to-day living and you’re not in love with who you are as you are now.  You’re striving for results in vain. You are disconnected to what it means to live a purposeful life.

Attention to Meaning – Finding Your Life Purpose, is a movie I rented and watched last night.  It is about Dr. Wayne Dyer’s concepts for life.  It’s a very rich and inspiring film.  Even though everything he talked about stems from love, no where in the film does he use the word, “love.”   I wondered if it’s because the word is so overused and diluted, that it doesn’t  hold the same meaning for all of us. 

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The truth is, beauty sometimes does escape me.  I’m busy getting things done, and I forget to notice the world around me.  But it means a lot to me to not let it slip by.  I go for walks as often as I can and remind myself to catch the sunrise, sunshine, late nights when the world is dark and still – it’s so peaceful.

I think that’s the blessing of sick days (and yes, I’m taking a quick break and writing this from bed where I’ve been down a few days with a cold).  It causes you to slow down and notice things.  And though I’ve taken the full week off, I was so inspired I had to write this.

I live in a home with huge glass windows and the immense beauty of the rolling grey clouds announcing another rain is about to begin, just captured me completely on a trip to the kitchen for water.  I had to stop and sit down with a chair in front of the windows and catch my breath and thank God for not letting this beauty escape me.  It was an artist’s huge palette and perfect painting of the quick rumbling, yet graceful clouds.

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“This Emotional Life – Happiness/Intimacy,” Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love, talks about intimacy and relationships and uses the story analogy of why people are like porcupines.  Courtesy of YouTube.com, 1:58 minutes

This past weekend my large family gathered to celebrate the man who started us all, my Dad, and honor him on his 80th birthday.

So many of us were there—his wife, children, grandchildren and great grandchildren, having flown in or driven far to be with this great man and each other. The weather hung on with a prayer, just long enough before the rains came, to be outdoors in overcast weather.  The large heaters rented last minute kept us cozy and allowed the tables, lights and decorations we’d set up, to be used and look lovely.

We gabbed together, laughed alot, and cried alot with love and deep appreciation for each other and especially of Dad and how much his role modeling has contributed to each of us.  We shared poems, special words and we sang songs.

Throughout the day a little punch was spilled, but no milk was—that is, there were no squabbles and everyone ignored any differences we may have in religion, politics, etc.  “Families are like fudge, mostly sweet with a few nuts,” an unknown author once wrote. And over the years, thankfully we’ve grown and are still growing to appreciate all of our quirky sides, our differences and unique ways, and not make it mean anything. Even with each of our strong personalities, this commitment to caring allows us to continue to communicate and hang out with each other.

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