My naivety in my twenties and my “can-do” attitude had me apply for positions that sounded interesting and I had a smattering of qualifications for, but in general they were jobs out of my league.  Some might say, “nothing ventured, nothing gained,” and while at times that can be true, my choices led me to experience embarrassing situations where I could chalk up additional rejections instead of focusing on pursuing those jobs I was most qualified for and interested in.

For example, after several classes in Japanese and prior to my living there for a year, I felt confident in my basic Japanese that I applied to be a pharmaceutical representative and liaison with the company’s Japan branch here in the U.S.  (Never mind that I had no pharmaceutical training or knowledge of this industry at all, not to mention that some of my values and my skill set didn’t align with this work.)   

I’ll bet you can imagine the evening our company president and I met with the Japan representative in an elegant hotel lobby and I exchanged a few basic introductory sentences with him and shortly after we both clearly got that I had no clue what he was saying.  What a disaster!

When I did finally travel tol Japan, I agreed to teach a company of men after their work hours how to speak English.  It didn’t occur to me that we’d have difficulty communicating, though none of them spoke any English.  After being let go of this position, I met someone who introduced me to a doctor.  He stuck me in a lab coat and had me speak my pidgeon Japanese to his patients to take their history.  How embarrassing for us both - particulary when they had to point to their aching body part and I was trying to figure out what they were saying and type up their information.  I was clearly a show piece only, as the doctor followed up with these same questions himself.  Why did I agreed to do it?  I was wooed by the satisfaction of landing work, earning some income and mistakenly assuming the job would lead to something better.  Sound familiar?  It actually took me several more awkward jobs before I realized to seek those that best matched my skill and aligned with my values.  So, what about you?

Are you telling long tales about yourself to get a job you aren’t qualified for or isn’t your best fit?  

Cynthia launched into the room, all pumped with energy, her flyers in hand.  The meeting room was already crowded.  She immediately arranged her three flyers on the nearest promotion table, even though there was scarely any space.  She combined someone else’s flyers into another person’s pile to make room for her own to be splayed out. 

She’d made sure her wallet had plenty of business cards before she left the house and she added several to the table too.  Cynthia thought it was okay to place them on top of another person’s flyers.  “Afterall, he’s in carpet cleaning, so everyone can tell we’re two different businesses.  And, with my photo on my cards, I’ll stick out.” 

Looking ever the part of the consummate professional in her new pants outfit, even though she had few clients and no current prospects for more, she eagerly jumped into an existing conversation with a small group nearby.  She began with a long introduction of herself, not noticing the awkward looks on their faces since she’d interrupted someone mid-sentence who had been talking. 

When it was time to give her 30-second business introduction, she went over the alloted minute per person.  The meeting leader had to ring the bell twice on her, but she didn’t pay any attention, and kept on with a few more sentences before finishing and walking to her seat.  ”I pay for these meetings,” she thought, “and 30-seconds is no where enough time to tell everyone all I do.”

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Okay. Honestly.  Did you really blow it that badly?  Can you can fix your mistake or try something else  to move on?  There are often other options.  And, if not, you can always acknowledge your errors and make the best of it.  

Maybe it’s time you remember how to lighten up and not take yourself so seriously, from little to big things that seem to go wrong, or not as you expected.  It doesn’t take a few hours, a day, or a week from now to put it behind you, it can really take a moment..and this spoken from a woman who continues to remind herself of this daily – trust me!

When I was in Japan many years ago I noticed how the Japanese people often differed in how they react to things from the ways I’ve learned in our western culture.  For example, when I was at an outdoor music concert listening to some fun marching music, I couldn’t keep my body still while those around me sat motionless, their expressions seemingly blank, but certainly enjoying it in their own way.   More interesting was noticing when things there went awry…

I was on a train near Osaka and saw a group of young business men sitting together and when one of them stood up, he accidentally banged his head hard on the overhead luggage rack.  The other men laughed and the hurt man rubbed his painful head and gradually moved back into conversation with them.  I thought at the time that this was cruel treatment of their friend, but perhaps that was their form of soothing him, since it did bring him back into the group more quickly.  

You’ve known someone who has teased you or tried to lighten you up during a difficult situation and chances are, like me, you were more focused on being angry or wanting to hang out longer in the mire of your upset.   Scientific brain studies have shown us there are undeniable positive effects of laughter in terms of our social, mental, and physical well-being.   So what if instead, we laugh about things more and join with others in laughter? 

Forgotten how to laugh?  Check out this website:  If these babies laughing  don’t do it for you, you may need to take a course in laughter, rent a funny movie, or go tickle a baby yourself!

I own a really cute pair of shoes that I wish fit me, but they don’t.  They never have.  I bought them knowing they were tight and thinking I could have them stretched to fit.  Never mind that my baby toes were squeezed or that three toes were sticking out a little too far through the small open toe area.  You have to understand, the shoes were so stylish, the two-toned colors matched several of my outfits, the price was reasonable, and I needed shoes to go with my outfit.

My desire to have what I wanted right then overshadowed my best decision barometer and put me in a followup series of bad decisions.  The first was when I bought them.  Then I went to the shoe store and paid to have the shoes stretched and rubber taps put on the bottom.  I rushed the cobbler, as we were leaving for the weekend event the next day.  I wore my pretty shoes around the house while I got ready for us to leave, telling myself they’d stretch some more.  I brought along another plain pair of shoes just in case, though I was sure I wouldn’t need them.

An hour into the event had me hobbling a good distance to my hotel room in bare feet to change out these painful shoes for the comfy ones I’d brought along.  I applied bandaids to give extra cushioning to my reddened baby toes.  What a welcome relief, as I placed my wounded feet into shoes less squishy and then returned to the event having much less attention on my feet.  

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While trying to stay optimistic about the rushed feeling that always accompanies the end of the year, the feeling that there’s still lots to do and not enough time to get it done, money to make it happen, or energy to do it, your evil twin sister might emerge to complain, confuse and offer contradicting views.  My inner “Griselda,” acerbically speaks at times and offers versions of the following 12 Days of Christmas.  See if you see your evil twin in this…

1. A partridge in a pear tree – no, no partridge, no bird at all in the tree – or the oven for that matter. Since there’s also little money growing on your tree.  Cut out extras; forget stocking stuffers.  If you hold off on presents, maybe you can take off to Bali for a real Christmas.

2.  Two turtle doves - are you kidding?  You can’t take in any more animals, you can barely remember to feed the fish (let alone kids).  Find a dog walker and then maybe you can finally take in that cuddly puppy Rover…or on second thought, consider how you can earn extra holiday mula, like, maybe you can walk the neighbor’s dogs.

3.  Three french hens – what’s with the animals?  You’ve got plenty to do already with taking care of yourself and your immediate others.  You still have to figure out your trip to your family, where you’ll share all that lovey-dovey cheer and your badly wrapped presents.  Just keep the French hens and you can return them to Paris yourself.

4. Four calling birds - you might be hearing calling, but it’s not birds.  It’s your goody-two-shoes self trying to butt in and tell you to get the main things done and don’t worry about the rest.  Don’t listen.

5.  Five golden rings – you wish!  You don’t even clean the one you have.  The only rings you have to deal with are the rings around your kitchen sink and tub.  Then there’s the several closets of junk, old clothes and stuff in your storage room, paper stacks that are just too much to go through and sort.  So, just toss it all out. 

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