Just like the initial exhilirating passion you feel in a new romantic relationship, once you become comfortable overtime with your job environment, the people you interact with, and the projects themselves, your passion for your job can seem less of a bonfire and more like a smoldering ember.  If you get unattached to having the big fire, you can settle in and enjoy the warmth and consistent pleasures of your accomplishments, big and small.

But if it’s not the like-new feeling you’re missing, maybe due to being unchallenged for awhile, you’re overdue to infuse innovation into your current work world.  A third possibility for the lost spark at work could be that you have exhausted your reservoir of talent for this job, it doesn’t fit you any longer, and it’s time you move on.

1.  Unsure if a job or career change is needed?  Before you abandon your work, sit quietly and do an honest assessment of what it offers.  Are there any new changes you can make where you are?  (I had a client who was sure extensive travel was required for her job and, being tired of it, she wanted to quit.  I coached her to ask about changes in this routine.  Her employer not only complied with her need for less travel time, but gave her a bonus to help teach another employee how to take on some of her responsibilities.)

2.  Is your current work unchallenging?  Give your job a new bolt of creativity.  There are many wonderful books on creativity, innovation and changing the way we think.  To mention a few, there’s Howard Gardner’s Creating Minds, An Anatomy of Creativity.   Roger von Oech’s many wonderful books and Tim Hurson’s Think Better book.  (I’ve led creativity workshops based on Tim Hurson’s book.  I’ve also taken several workshops on the subject of creativity and have my own book, The 3 C’s for Effective Living – Change, Creativity and Communication that gives you exercises to expand your creative thinking.) Get into a new idea-making mode and break up stale thinking. This could be just the thing to help you devise different avenues to take your work.  A workshop may also help you locate new contacts to explore working on a program or project for or with.

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When was the last time you tried to convince someone of your good idea and you got resistance?  Maybe your idea or problem-solving approach didn’t appear new to them, hadn’t been adequately tested before, or simply lacked the enthusiasm backing it to make it sound worthy of pursuing?

Your idea is not the orthodox, mainstream solution they’re used to and you will need to be convinced of its viability yourself and hold your ground as you present your idea with aplomb.  Here are 6 ways I’ve found that can help cheer lead your unique ideas to a welcome reception:

1.  Ask your customer/client through an introduction meeting and possibly a followup short email survey,  questions to discover root problems with the way things are.  Use these responses to create a jumping off pad for your idea or solution, or just to be sure you address the problems with your new strategy. (more…)

It’s not always easy to experience feedback as positive, especially when it’s all too accurate about the things we need to change about ourselves.  There are past times I’ve felt I was being interrogated and unfairly judged, but I’ve learned to approach business and personal feedback times with a more constructive outlook.  This openness to learning greatly helps to make my relationships with others and work itself go more smoothly. 

Here are five reasons to view feedback as a gift:

1. Let’s You See When You’re A Square Peg in a Round Hole  You may not be fitting in on a project or program, or with someone else’s style.  The worst part of this is you might not have a clue about it or have been too busy to notice.  Maybe you didn’t have the courage to ask about something that felt a little off and make the necessary adjustments.   Feedback stops the machinery, gives you and others time to reflect on what’s working or not and discuss how you can improve matters.

2. Grows Your Ability to Question Assumptions  Oftentimes you have a sense of how you are doing or how a project is going, but when others validate your assumptions as accurate, it grows your ability to question your own assumptions, make course corrections, get ahead of the curve with changes, and make sound decisions.  This is an important skill if you value both self-growth and professional growth. 

3.  Helps You Recognize Your Need for Others  Despite attempts by many who’ve tried to go it alone in life, human beings are born to interact and learn from each other.  Why would you want to make most changes if you were the only person who’d be impacted by those changes?  Trying to make changes in isolation doesn’t make sense.   You can and should avail yourself of the feedback of others to gain a fresh perspective, whether or not you think you know it all or can do it yourself.

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If you’re someone who doesn’t particularly like roses and the expression, to stop and smell them, irks you, it’s understandable. (Roses rarely carry a fragrance anyway).  But maybe they’re just not your thing.  And that leads me to wonder… How do you handle it when things aren’t the way YOU’D like them to be or you just don’t LIKE something?

The obvious/but a reminder: Focus on something else you can appreciate and be grateful you have that to enjoy. Maybe it’s going to your relaxing home after tough work days or having one enjoyable project to sink your teeth into, vs. no challenging work to do at all.   That doesn’t mean you can tell yourself things don’t matter, if you can change them.  Maybe you’ll plant orchids if you don’t like roses.  You have lots of options and shouldn’t feel you have to go with the popular opinion.

But look for the unobvious in your choices too.

The less obvious/exploring new terrain:  Use not liking something as a red flag to alert you to pay closer attention.  What causes you to dislike it?  Are you discluding something that could offer value?  Explore if there is any redeeming qualities to what you don’t like and see if there’s any part of it you can appreciate.  Maybe you don’t readily connect with someone, for example an overly chatty person, but you can see they are resourceful and you may pick up a useful bit of information from them if you’re willing to listen to them.   And maybe she/he is affording you the break in your day that you aren’t giving yourself. 

And with the rose – well, it’s a popular gift to give others, even if it’s not your favorite, so you may be able to enjoy it from that fresh perspective.

“I want to do x.”  “Yeah, but I want to do o.”  Sometimes in a personal or working partnership you find you differ with others in your views, preferences or convictions.  In some situations, #1 or #2 below can address making clean-cut changes and coming out unscathed.  But if not, and you’re in a seemingly no-win disagreement, skip to #3 and #4 and the followup questions, for some best ways to address painful compromises.

1.  Ask yourself how wedded you are to your choice.  Look to see if you can be the bigger person here.  If the other person’s choice won’t lead to a negative or ill-fated result, let go of your idea for theirs. 

2.  Be willing to find the artful compromise.  (i.e. “I can have the document for you Monday afternoon, but can use those few extra morning hours to get you a more complete report, so can we push Monday morning to Monday noon?”) OR (i.e. I’d like to go out for dinner and prefer Japanese food, but if you really want Mexican, can we go somewhere new for a different experience?”)

3.  In the midst of a tough discussion, take a brief walk or even excuse yourself to get coffee and some aerial perspective on the matter.  Ask yourself what you have to lose by standing so firmly to your decision (other than not getting your way), and how much it really matters if this time it goes the other way.  It can be better to “let the other guy” win vs. create a poor image as a hard person to work with or potentially damage a working relationship.  And, in a personal context, your resistance could bungle an otherwise romantic or relaxing evening together. 

You may experience the temporary pain of not feeling heard or respected, but could it be that you’re taking things too personally and not focusing on the real goal - the end objective?  What is most important here?

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