Emotional Rollercoasters and How to Handle Them
The past few weeks has been tough in first finding out my sister had cancer and yesterday waiting for the results of her surgery. To our relief and gratitude she is now cancer free. During this period, our family has heard from many other folks with illnesses. It’s almost as if we’ve become a member of that club, albeit reluctantly, putting us in direct contact with those who are ailing or suffering. I also notice that health issues are more of a constant converation topic between those I’m in contact with who are mid-life plus.
How does one have the capacity to take it all in and not blow a gasket?
While I felt myself on a rollercoaster ride with my emotions over my sister, I also felt it was an opportunity for a deeper connection and strengthening of myself. Not the stoic kind that doesn’t feel any emotion, but rather a healthy resolve to feel what was needed and not let myself get crushed by it.
There is plenty of hurtful or painful experiences one can witness, be informed of, or even find oneself in the middle of at times. You will pass through them. How quickly and flawlessly is up to you. Will it be a heavy weight that drags you down or will you be able to rise above it? The choice is up to you. If you’re a generally healthy person, you have as much capability of this as anyone else.
It’s important not to become a victim of your (or other people’s) circumstances. Say no to suffering and count on a return to happiness and appreciation which you can expedite with your optimistic attitude. Life isn’t cruel by nature, but it is a challenge that sometimes means you’ll crash against walls and you can either tear them down, go around them, or just take the bruises and move on to what’s next.
Tags: dealing with troubles, emotional rollercoaster, handling difficult situations
May 25th, 2010 at 8:00 am
Wow Laurie – thanks for sharing such a personal family story, @SoaringCoach pointed me to this blog and I’m thankful for that.
I remember, albeit many moons ago, from a psychology class in college that there are some pretty distinct stages of a grieving process. The reason I remember it so well is because it resonated with what I was going through at the time. I played Division I college soccer and sustained a season-ending injury my Junior year.
First I went through Denial: “the injury isn’t so bad, and I’ll be back in a few games”. Then reality set in, and I went through the Anger phase: “This sucks, that play was a total cheap-shot by the opponent and he’ll get his next time we meet”. Phase 3 – Bargaining – came next: “If I rehab it, work extra hard and do all the things the training staff asks of me and more, I can make it back by the end of the season”. Phase 4 was the most difficult for me – Depression. I felt helpless and hopeless with the situation, and a victim of the circumstances. It took a while until I was able to move on to the final phase – Acceptance: “It is what it is. Things happen. It’ s a setback, but not the end of my career”.
With Acceptance, I was able to move forward and live my motto – “Everything Is An Opportunity”. The opportunities that I created with this situation were many, here are a few: 1) it was humbling, and I appreciated the skill and ability that I developed, which I had taken for granted 2) I contributed to the learning process of the physicians and student-trainers that provided medical care and rehabbed me 3) The Team lost their captain and leader on the field so it provided a growth opportunity in how they would respond 4) I could use the hours spent in rehab to study and improve my grades.
So in response to the rollercoaster, for me it’s cathartic to go through the grieving process for any hiccup in life. But, I try to be cognizant of not getting hung up too much along the way. Rather, I try to recognize what is happening, and remind myself that “Everything Is An Opportunity”.
Keep up the good work!
Nick
May 25th, 2010 at 9:19 am
Nick, I’m familiar with Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’s five stages of grief. You demonstrate them well here. The best thing about surrendering to go through these phases is that can indeed arrive at your circumstances as an “Opportunity.” I loved hearing the lessons you learned. Sometimes we can’t easily find any lesson in things that have awry, so we have to accept that too. I congratulate you for coming out the other side of it even stronger. Thanks for writing!