As I let go of another business project that I decided is not a valuable use of my time and other resources, I reflect on the process itself of “letting go.” There are those things, people, projects, places, to-do’s that we consciously choose to eliminate…this project is one of them. It’s wise to let those things go before you expend too much more energy on them. Then there are those minor things that fall away on their own because you really weren’t that interested in them and didn’t focus your energy on them to begin with. But what about those larger matters that are important that you don’t give your due attention to out of past fears or disappointment?

One of my husband’s aunts was married for 50 years and deeply in love with her partner. A woman in her early 70′s, she had been fun to be with and lively.  For the last four years she’s lived in a senior home with severe loss of memory and physical deterioration. Before she went into the home we used to talk with her about doing some of the things she’d loved to do so much with him and she had no interest in doing it on her own. It was sad for all the family to see her so dependent on what she had had that she was unwilling to live fully for herself.

I can’t help feeling that my dear aunt-in-law gave up on living for herself, gave up on living her own dreams. I don’t want to judge her in any way; I don’t know what she’s been thinking and feeling since her husband passed, but I do know that she began to fade when she became inactive and disinterested.  It causes me to question my own disappointments, what I may harbor as sad or hurt feelings, and to see if there is anything that I really wanted that I’ve given up on or am unwilling to try out.

The question you may ask yourself is, Are you complete with your life as it is and as it is not? In other words, are there hopes or dreams you had that didn’t manifest and have you moved on from those? What about people you longed to connect with but didn’t get to, or people or circumstances you want to disconnect from, but don’t? Are you resigned in having to relate to certain people or be in certain circumstances that are unhealthy, or are you dwelling on thoughts of missing out?

In your career you may feel that you had a project idea that fizzled out because you couldn’t get the right support for it, or the right finances, or the time to develop it, etc. Have you let go of that or have you turned that disappointment into an unwillingness to stick your neck out again? Are you still showing up to take on new challenges and go for new things even when you feel tired, disappointed or fear rejection?

In summary, there is a conscious letting go of things and you feel empowered by that choice, even though there could be some initial sadness or disappointment. Then there are those smaller things that resolve on their own. Still there are more important issues, like caring for youself, that you may not be attending to because you hold on to former disappointments.

Take a look at what causes you to lead or spearhead an idea, start new things or get engaged with others and what keeps your neck in your shell where it’s warm and protected. Sooner or later you’re going to have to stick it out again, so why not today?

Tags: career disappointments, challenge, fear of rejection, life changes and letting go, life issues

This entry was posted on Monday, February 15th, 2010 at 7:08 pm and is filed under Personal and Professional Growth, Well-Being/Health/Energy, Women Managers, Women Returning to the Workforce, Re Careering. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.