You can consciously work at improving your ability to become less affected by other people’s anger, frustration or rudeness towards you, you can also improve your ability to not get pulled off course by your own emotions when things get you down, but sometimes little things can unexpectedly set you off.  Yesterday something happened and it wasn’t even the last straw in a series of bad events which can sometimes occur, it was one, small disappointment.  Even so,  it creeped into my feelings throughout the day when my busyness slowed me down and my thoughts wandered to it. 

When I had gone to feed my saltwater fish, I discovered my favorite fish had died.  This was the most colorful, the largest and the one I’d had the longest.  It had also evolved from being a shy fish for several weeks, to coming over to the side of the fish tank whenever I talked with it.  So I felt sadness discovering her dead and then a kind of quick numbness, as I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. I went about scooping her out of the tank , burying her under the rose bush, and leaving for a business appointment, trying not to think much about it. Yet underneath the things I did all day I felt a kind of wounded disappointment.

Marianne Williamson, author and lecturer on spiritual and world issues, once said that a problem for those who have done some transformational work on themselves is that they try to get over things before they’ve actually felt them. I’ve always regarded that as wise words and recognize when I ignore my feelings to get on with other things too quickly, it’s like attempting to grow a rose garden on top of a garbage pile.  So I caught myself and took a little while to check in with myself and reflect on my loss and the feelings passed naturally.

So why do I share this?  Because I’m only human and so are you.  And I know that sad feelings are best acknowledged and felt and then you can stop carrying them around as a burden that impacts other things you do or other people. 

 Is there anything you’re ignoring or feeling at a loss about? How about giving it it’s due attention so you can grieve as needed?  (Then you can become unattached and move on).

Tags: acknowledging feelings, disappointments, letting go, resilience, unattachment

This entry was posted on Thursday, August 20th, 2009 at 4:20 pm and is filed under Personal and Professional Growth. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.