Sometimes I inadvertently stick out from others in a group and end up heading up a project that I’d only meant to offer input on like everyone else.  You can probably relate to those times when you’ve had an idea and try to fly it and suddenly you’re in charge.  It happens for a variety of reasons:  maybe you are impatient about things getting going and step in while others drag their heals, or they’re just going on about their lives not noticing a deadline is looming…but you do…and maybe it’s simply your natural leadership style of initiation that gets you in these unexpected leadership roles.  

So you assume the role of leader, but should you get verbal opposition, you get frustrated, especially if you’re doing most of the work and others are merely offering opinions.  At this point you really wonder how you got where you are and yet you don’t “say no” because you’re committed to the outcome.  So how can you be more competent in this role once you’ve taken it on?

Here are 6 tips that I’ve learned from the trenches, to help you out in these situations:

1.  Don’t cast yourself as the victim–you poked your head up and took it on.  Now be ready to be an excellent communicator of each idea and action step and recognize there will be others who won’t align 100%, or at least at first.  Make them your favorite ally by keeping them particularly in the loop and applauding the ideas they have that forward the action.  Hear any disgruntledness with an open mind and a curious, “hmm, that’s a thought…” and try not to show your agreement or disagreement at those times.  Let the others in the group help sway them to what works best at the final decision time.

2. If the group isn’t rallying to discuss the project together, fly your ideas individually with several conversations and be sure everyone is kept apprised through a variety of communication modes: email, phone calls, faxes, meetings, letters.  (since the same communication style isn’t for everyone).  You could start with asking them their preferred communication style, though this could take time, or just use a few different styles per person.   Additionally, you can ask your closest supporters to use the buddy system in talking with others and have that person report back.

3.  It’s best if you can set meetings up with a face-to-face or group call of everyone altogether. This way you can deal with pros and cons without a lot of time spent going back and forth.  If your phone has a conference call feature you can talk with usually three folks at a time.  Othewise, there are tons of free services where you can add as many as 1,000 people on a call  (i.e. Free Teleconferencing), just by signing up with your name and email.  Email is so subjective,  it’s important to be sure you and everyone else are interpretating the communications in the same way.

4.  If you have individual conversations, ask them to put their idea into a short note form or email afterwards or get permission to prepare your own and copy them first on it before others see it, in case they have changes.  If you leave with only your filtered view (no matter how unbiased you intend it to be) the person who made certain comments might deny them later or say it wasn’t their actual inference, so it is always best to get their own words.

5.  Don’t gossip with others in the group.  This is hard not to do because you’re often looking for agreement and how to smooth out rough spots, but it always creates bad feelings, even if you feel you’ve got something off your chest.  Look for your support outside the group and come back renewed, energized, and free of bias.

6.  Write down any disagreements and pose it to each member in the form of a question, i.e. (“What about X, do you see why that might be a problem or how we could overcome it if it is?”) could be an approach to remedying blocks and it  often generates solutions you wouldn’t have thought of.  It can also take the attention off you as the person heading up the pack, put you more into a facilitative role, and bring out the leadership in others.

Go into group brainstorming sessions with your eyes wide open and know from the outset if you can get involved in spearheading the project to obtain results.  Once you do take on the leadership role, employ these useful tactics and you’ll find your way becomes more smooth and enjoyable.

Tags: Career Tips, group communication, group effectiveness, style of leadership, unexpected leadership

This entry was posted on Thursday, August 27th, 2009 at 6:21 pm and is filed under Career Tips, Women Entrepreneurs, Women Managers. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.