5 Working Women Tactics for Blowing Off Steam
How to Deal video 
Do you tend to get yourself stressed or in trouble because you’ve said more than you should? Or do you simmer silently and naively think that others don’t know you’re upset? Think again. “People who report being bullied report more physical symptoms like headaches and insomnia and use more sick days,” says Suzy Fox, a professor at Loyola University Chicago who studies bullying and other workplace issues.
Civility in the Workplace blog (3/25/09) says that much of the anger in companies has to do with a feeling that money has been mismanaged and they are entitled to bonuses or higher pay. Often a boss or co-workers you have to frequently interact with have a style that is dissimilar to your own. But whatever the cause of your upset, don’t be fooled that you won’t respond inappropriately at times. And since neither “push” nor “shove” makes you feel or look your best, here’s a few self-control strategies I’ve found to be useful:
1. Acknowledge the other person’s frustration. This doesn’t mean you “give in,” it does mean you will hear the other person out without defensiveness, justifications or denial. Most people get upset or challenge you when they feel they or their concerns are not being acknowledged. Focus completely on them and not what you want to say next. If you still disagree when they are done talking, thank them for their perspective and let them know you’ll consider their view, or state that you have a “slightly different view” and ask them if they would please listen while you share your perspective.
The Importance of Being Earnest psp 2. Take a short break and escape to the restroom. Put the toilet seat down and sit there a few minutes while you practice deep breathing. In the quiet of the bathroom stall with your eyes closed, you’ll most likely gain the step-back perspective to be able to see the communication clearer and how best to respond.
3. Use the stop-change-start technique. In the moment of confrontation, a technique introduced to me years ago in a workshop can really work. Stop what you’re thinking or doing, decide to change
your approach and start again in a fresh direction.
4. Become very curious. That is, ask your “opponent” what they mean by what they just said. If you seem puzzled or unclear, they will have to explain their motive and often they’ll catch themselves in the unclarity of their point and state it differently. In this process it often occurs that you will hear it newly and what they now say is not what you thought they were intending. (See how you can save yourself a headache using this tactic!)
5. Try using good humor – even if it means lightly poking fun at yourself. Surprisingly your ability to do this shows you feel you’re standing on solid ground and it will deflect the negative energy and make you look good.
The Stone Killer ipod Deadlands 2: Trapped trailer It helps to build strong patience and tolerance for those unexpected button pusher moments when you’re thrown off base. If you’re a manager, onsite trainings can include anger management exercises
. Canadian Counselor, Lucy MacDonald, offers a short anger management quiz
and teleclasses and there are many other support resources you can learn about by searching online.
Do you think your self-esteem is causing you to back down in situations, losing your power to someone with a more dominating style? See Laurie Sheppard’s Positive Thinking Way program or visit her coaching site, Creating At Will to learn how she can support you.
Tags: anger management, boss, coach, self-esteem, workplace stress
July 10th, 2009 at 1:12 am
These are great tips for blowing off steam. There are times when you just hit the top and you just have to get it off your chest. Thank you!