When things don’t go as planned, there’s a tendency to back off and let opportunities fade away, or let others handle things while you stand on the sideline.  While a sharing of expertise on projects can be worthwhile, other times not stepping up and leaving things to others can become a negative pattern.  Are you feeling reluctant to try new things because you don’t want to fail or you feel you’re in uncharted territory? 

In our careers we’re often confronted with new challenges and it’s this reluctance to sail ahead that makes the difference between successful business people and those less successful.

“He’ll get the offer, so there’s no sense positioning myself for it.”  “No matter how much I market, it won’t change my client return ratio.”  “There are so many others that do what I do, regardless of my speciality or branding, the client can’t tell us apart and I probably won’t get the business.”  “I can do it, but if they can’t see that, I’m not going to bother asking.”  If any of this sounds like you – or some similar version of career reluctance - then it’s time to revamp your career commitment and relook your strategies to turn your results around.

The first step will be to make a new commitment to your work.  Without that willingness and belief in the possibility of new results and your deserving of them, along with your belief in your capabilities, then this list below won’t apply.  (Hint:  If you weren’t willing to revamp things or work towards improving your career outlook, then you probably wouldn’t be reading this).

1.  Make a list of successes you’ve caused within the last 6 months to a year. 
2.  Examine the list and circle any similarities (noting dissimilarities) in how those came about.
3.  Recognize specific actions you took that led to positive results to decide if you’re willing and able to replicate them.
4.  Make a list of anyone who was your ambassador or a beneficial contact then to retap them if needed.
5.  Decide your most important current objectives for your business or projects now and what resources you’ll need.
6.  Let go of any projects you honestly don’t feel ready or able to head up and don’t fault your decision to do so.
7.  Notice if your reluctance has to do with stronger personalities that surround you and practice being assertive, while never exhibiting any feelings of distrust or jealousy in what they do.
8.  You can delegate by empowering others and demonstrating appreciation, while remaining in control of a project.

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Thankfully the majority of my clients have a pretty clear idea of what they’d like to do or in what area they’d like to improve personally or professionally.  There are, however, those who have come to me with a greater sense of dissatisfaction and a sense of lost hope about their future.  I may need to refer them to therapy or coach them in addition to therapeutic support.  They may be someone who “followed the leader” and learned a skill or trade that was handed down to them, but it was never really their dream.  They don’t dare dream, because they’ve lost a belief in their power to create it.  These individuals have a crisis of confidence.

Not only do they feel dissatisfied with their life, but they didn’t learn how to recognize their own ability to make changes.  They’ve become good at adapting to people and situations.  They get by, but they don’t thrive.

I’m reminded of a speech by President Jimmy Carter in 1979 when he talked about his view on the main problem threatening our American society.  He said, “The threat is nearly invisible in ordinary ways. It is a crisis of confidence. It is a crisis that strikes at the very heart and soul and spirit of our national will. We can see this crisis in the growing doubt about the meaning of our own lives and in the loss of a unity of purpose for our nation.”  He called it a symptom of our spirit and he said, “The erosion of our confidence in the future is threatening to destroy the social and the political fabric of America.”  He called on us to have faith.

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Sometimes I feel worn out and I have to stop and remind myself to implement one of the solutions below.  When my coaching clients tell me they feel run down, it’s often because they’ve depleted their energy through pushing themselves to produce results and not taken care of themselves along the way, so we look at one or more of these fitting solutions to get them back on track. 

These are helpful remedies, but not the only answer if yours is a medical problem. You have to know what’s causing your exhaustion to apply the right solution. If your tiredness is lingering, it could be a medical issue (thyroid; low blood sugar; heart problem); a substance abuse problem (too much sugar, alcohol, drugs); or a stress-related problem.  See a doctor and get  a complete physical, including a full blood panel test and thyroid test.

If it’s not medical, it could be soon if you don’t deal with it.  It may be mind overload, poor time management, or taking on too much.  Here are 21 tips that can help you regain your energy:

1.   Go to bed earlier in the evening. Don’t want to miss late shows?  Record them to view another time.
2.   Sleep in a half hour to an hour longer in the morning whenever possible, even if you’re awake, you’re still resting.
3.   Exercise 3x a week minimum, but don’t overdue it.  Seek out a professional who can fit your workout to you.
4.   Eat healthier foods, including daily fruits and vegetables with smaller portions of meat and carbohydrates.
5.   Stop eating and minimize liquids two hours before bed, so you’re sleeping and not digesting.
6.   Reduce or avoid all stimulants (alchohol, sugar, coffee, caffeinated tea, drugs).  Stop the up/down rollercoaster.
7.   Get rest more often and become a master of cat naps.  There are many sites online to earn how to do it effectively.
8.   Rate your priorities. Determine if all tasks need to get done and when, eliminating any that you can.
9.   Ask for help rather than feeling you have to do it all yourself.
10. Delegate tasks to others, even if you have to pay for it to be done.

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As I let go of another business project that I decided is not a valuable use of my time and other resources, I reflect on the process itself of “letting go.” There are those things, people, projects, places, to-do’s that we consciously choose to eliminate…this project is one of them. It’s wise to let those things go before you expend too much more energy on them. Then there are those minor things that fall away on their own because you really weren’t that interested in them and didn’t focus your energy on them to begin with. But what about those larger matters that are important that you don’t give your due attention to out of past fears or disappointment?

One of my husband’s aunts was married for 50 years and deeply in love with her partner. A woman in her early 70’s, she had been fun to be with and lively.  For the last four years she’s lived in a senior home with severe loss of memory and physical deterioration. Before she went into the home we used to talk with her about doing some of the things she’d loved to do so much with him and she had no interest in doing it on her own. It was sad for all the family to see her so dependent on what she had had that she was unwilling to live fully for herself.

I can’t help feeling that my dear aunt-in-law gave up on living for herself, gave up on living her own dreams. I don’t want to judge her in any way; I don’t know what she’s been thinking and feeling since her husband passed, but I do know that she began to fade when she became inactive and disinterested.  It causes me to question my own disappointments, what I may harbor as sad or hurt feelings, and to see if there is anything that I really wanted that I’ve given up on or am unwilling to try out.

The question you may ask yourself is, Are you complete with your life as it is and as it is not? In other words, are there hopes or dreams you had that didn’t manifest and have you moved on from those? What about people you longed to connect with but didn’t get to, or people or circumstances you want to disconnect from, but don’t? Are you resigned in having to relate to certain people or be in certain circumstances that are unhealthy, or are you dwelling on thoughts of missing out?

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As Valentine’s Day is about to be here, I find myself reflecting on all that I love about life, including my career.  In some areas I need to return to love, the love I had for it in the first place.  

This embracing of love gives me a sense of true satisfaction and acceptance permeats my life.  There’s no push or struggle and things happen in there more natural order.  This affects the way I doggedly pursue results and transforms it to a simpler approach that is more gentle to myself, even while it becomes less about me and more about the joy of giving service to others. 

There’s nothing wrong with having achievement goals, working towards them and accomplishing them – but if in that process you feel bogged down with the weight of “getting there,” then you’re not in the magic of day-to-day living and you’re not in love with who you are as you are now.  You’re striving for results in vain. You are disconnected to what it means to live a purposeful life.

Attention to Meaning – Finding Your Life Purpose, is a movie I rented and watched last night.  It is about Dr. Wayne Dyer’s concepts for life.  It’s a very rich and inspiring film.  Even though everything he talked about stems from love, no where in the film does he use the word, “love.”   I wondered if it’s because the word is so overused and diluted, that it doesn’t  hold the same meaning for all of us. 

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